Mr. Looking for a Challenge

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I clearly have on my online dating profile that I am not into younger men nor do I want photos of a certain part of the male anatomy. I quote from my profile, “I am looking for classy not trashy.”

This morning I received a message from a 25 year old, “Good morning, how are you? You’re very pretty. I love your pics. Nice profile. Can you date a guy with a few fetishes? Nothing over the top just a few things.”

Really?

Me: “You obviously did not read my profile.”

Him: “Yes, I did. We can be friends, right? I’m just looking for a long distance friend via text to share pictures with. Not right away though. I want to get to know you. Just letting you know what I’m looking for. I like sharing pictures of myself doing naughty things.”

Me: “Again, you obviously did not read my profile.”

Him: “Yes I did but I’m looking forward to getting to know you first.”

End of conversation.

I honestly do not have those things on my profile as a challenge. Mr. I’m Looking for a Challenge obviously is challenged!!

I love yous…

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I received an email today and at the end of the message was written lymi. I guess I’m illiterate when it comes to all these new acronyms that keep popping up because I had no idea what it meant so I asked.

It means luv ya…mean it.

That is a huge pet peeve of mine. I don’t like it when people say luv ya, luv u, etc. To me, it’s impersonal and has no true meaning…zero value in the context of any real feeling. You can say luv ya to anyone and not mean it.

I’m not just referring to romantic relationships but for family and friends as well. When I let the people in my life know how I feel I always say, “I love you.” I just don’t believe in short-changing my feelings.

I know not everyone feels this way. It’s just my personal preference. I’d rather feel with my entire heart and not just a smidgen.

Mr. Conversationalist

 

(SUBMITTED STORY)

This is a quick story as I found the chat up line fantastic. This was only last week.

On an internet dating site, is my profile and photo up, so I get a message from a guy:

“Hi”

I thought this was very inventive so I answered equally with:

“Hi”

His response to this was:

“Hello”

I was amazed about his vocabulary. So my answer was:

“You are a man of few words.”

And he answered:

“ You are not exactly War and Peace either.”

So I left it at that, as I do not think I could have a decent conversation with THAT.

At least they can make us laugh!

Best Regards, Ute

The Accidental Text

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Have you ever sent a text message that was intended for someone else and when the realization hit, you wished you could punch an ‘unsend’ button?

I did that recently. I was texting a guy I had a date with and one of my best friends at the same time. I sent (what I thought was going to her), “So far he seems nice and he has not tried to send me any photos of his _____” (use your imagination).

HOW EMBARRASSING!! Of course then I had to explain that one of my biggest frustrations is men who seem to love sharing photos of certain parts of their body. I am always complaining to my friends about how much I hate that!! It just comes across as trashy to me.

At least he had a sense of humor and took it well. I am very careful now when I’m texting two people at the same time. 🙂

P.S. Keep it in your pants guys. Don’t share it with everyone!!

Mr. Good Guy (yes, he really is)

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Today’s post is about one of the good guys. All my posts seem to revolve around ‘the others’ so today, I thought I would share a good story so you don’t think all my experiences are bad.

I met Mr. Good Guy online. I was not attracted to him at first based on his photos. Yes, I admit, I was being shallow. (I’m not usually attracted to super skinny men and he was all skin and bones.) However, what got my attention and drew me in was his sense of humor and personality.

We spoke online and on the phone for about 6 weeks before we ever decided to meet. He was very smart and had common sense (a rare combination), and he made me laugh. I thoroughly enjoyed talking with him. One of the reasons we put off meeting was due to the fact that he had only been divorced 5 months and we talked about whether or not  he still needed time to figure out who he was and what he wanted in life…post-divorce.

We finally decided what the heck and went to dinner one evening. We had a great time. I was still not attracted to him physically but agreed to continue going out with him. The more time I spent with him the more I realized he actually had become physically attractive to me along with his shining personality. He had basically ‘won me over’.

So now you’re probably wondering…then why are you not still with Mr. Good Guy?

Our initial reservation about him not being divorced very long came back and bit us. When his ex-wife realized he was seeing someone she began threatening suicide. Because she had attempted suicide in the past he felt obligated to reconcile with her. He did not want to but was afraid his children and grandchildren would never forgive him if she actually did kill herself.

It’s really sad knowing he’s trapped in a relationship that he does not want to be in. We mutually agreed to stop all communication between us. He was man enough to realize if he was going to reconcile with her, he could not also be seeing me. I was also concerned about her emotional instability and did not want to be a target for her. Most men would not choose to do what he did. Yes, he really is one of the good guys and I wish him the best of luck.

The Art of Kissing (It’s about to get messy up in here.)

I love kissing. I believe kissing is a very important part of getting to know someone. I dated a guy for two years who was an artist. That man had truly perfected the art of kissing. With that being said…I am a kissing snob. Yes, I have given myself the label of kissing snob.

There’s nothing worse than being kissed by someone who is bad at it. You know it’s true. I’m sure you’ve been kissed before and thought what was that? If someone is not a good kisser I just can’t imagine what a life with them would be like.

Some examples I have personally experienced:

Mr. Chicken Lips…I honestly thought I was being pecked to death by a chicken. I did not want to stick around to see if he was going to lay an egg for his next trick.

Mr. Snake Tongue…I could not keep up with his tongue darting in and out of my mouth and then clamping his lips shut like he was sealing up a vault. I don’t think I was actually ever able to kiss him back.

Mr. Jackie Chan…his tongue was quick and everywhere…bouncing off the walls and doing stunts I didn’t think was possible inside of a persons mouth. I prefer long, slow kisses that may evolve into a more intense interaction not an instant action movie in my mouth.

I’m sure there are others but these are the three that have left an everlasting impact on my mind (and in my mouth).

Are you a kissing snob? Please enlighten us and share your thoughts on this…

Mr.Vengeful

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I had a phone call last night which we reminded me of something that happened back in March.

This took place right after I broke things off with Mr. Man of Mystery so he could be the culprit although I cannot prove it.

Early one morning I started receiving phone call after phone call from insurance agents all across the country. As each different time zone woke up and began it’s workday the calls spread from New York all the way to California. I live in the central time zone so the calls started at 7:00 am my time.

Apparently someone had gone online using my personal information…name, address, cell phone number and e-mail…and submitted a request for quotes on health insurance. The request had my information yet said it was requested by a 51 year old male.

At first, I was furious because I was receiving about 2 phone calls an hour as well as a barage of e-mails.

By the end of the first day, I realized that all the calls had been from male insurance agents and people in sales sure do like to talk. Me, being the ever-optimist that I am, decided what the heck I may as well have some fun with it!! I decided to take this opportunity to just flirt like crazy and that’s exactly what I did. I have to say it has been so much fun!! It is what I like to call ‘speed flirting’ (like speed dating).

After a week or so, the calls subsided to only a few a week and last night’s call was yet another insurance agent whom I spoke with for about 30 minutes getting my flirt on.

Happy Tuesday! Get your flirt on! It will make for a beautiful day!!