Mr. Dog In Heat

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Yet another ‘tail’ from the online dating files.

Earlier this year I agreed to have lunch with a man I met online. I should have known it would go badly when he asked me to name five of my favorite restaurants and then he chose one he liked instead.

During the course of lunch, his gaze strayed out the window…tongue wagging…slobbering drool. I turned around to see what had captured his attention only to see teenage girls standing in the parking lot. I said, “Are you seriously drooling over those young girls?” His response, “I’m a leg man. When I see girls in shorts I just can’t help myself.” *twitch* *twitch* (just like a dog in heat looking for a piece of leg)

I excused myself, left him sitting there with his tongue hanging out of his mouth and went to the restroom to regain some composure and not go all ‘crazy bitch’ on him. (meant in the female dog sense of course)

When I came back to the table and sat down…preparing to end this date in a dignified manner Mr. Dog In Heat said, “Could you tell I was looking at your a$$ as you walked to the bathroom?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?? $^$#@@*(&&^%$#$&(_+(*&^%%$$

How old was Mr. Dog In Heat? 59 years old. That’s 418.9 in dogs years.

I cannot believe that I actually thought a man 16 years my senior would be different than any other man I seem to attract. I have no desire to teach an old dog new tricks. I did however walk away with a little extra wag in my tail so he could howl at the moon in lament that evening.

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(With all that being said, I know male dogs don’t really go into heat but it sounded good for this particular manimal.)

3 thoughts on “Mr. Dog In Heat

    1. Laughter is good for the soul. I can look back on it now and laugh…at the time…not so much. And he seemed genuinely puzzled as to why I was so insulted. Makes me wonder what kind of women he was used to dating.

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