Mr. You Hurt My Ex-Wife’s Feelings



This is about a man I had grown up with in the same town.  He was a tad younger. {As my friend says….I was a cougar before being a cougar was cool.} I was full force in the dating world………..completely divorced and making my own money. I decided NOT to say no when this guy asked me out for the 7th time. I enjoyed our dates. We liked the same movies………laughed at the same punch lines plus he was cute.
Back then, my dates had about a 6-week shelf life. Generally it took me a while to figure out if something was wrong.
It started out with a story about a previous girlfriend. He explained that when they first had sex, she cried. Not having any desire to take it to that level in the first place – any possibility of that disappeared shortly thereafter. Still yet, I continued going out with him from time to time (putting that comment down to his youth and ignorance). THEN  he began to tell me that he and his ex-wife were ‘friends’ and sometimes he would stay at her place. (I snickered inside as I began to plan my escape from this brainless fool.)
One day he calls me and begins yelling at me. I say, “WHAT THE HEY!!?!?!”
He said his ex-wife saw me and I did not wave at her.
WHAT!?! SAY WHAT!?!?!?! the twitches begin………..
I explained to him that I did not even know his ex-wife. He said I used to live near her. THEN he proceeded to tell me that he was furious with me because I had hit on her brother years ago. (I felt like I had entered a type of sanitorium that allowed patients to roam free.)
After further investigation I realized that while I was married I did live about a mile away from where his wife was raised. I also figured out that her brother was the extremely pimply-faced 16 yr old that was running a cash register at a store I bought gas from. I was 25 at that time, with children, and if I even noticed anything about him, it was to smile in pity at him and hope that he, one day, meets Noxema.
So lets call this 6 week relationship ‘Dirtbag’.
Dirtbag then comes to my apartment. I stand blocking him in the doorway as he continues to nag me for not talking to his ex. I tell him to leave……..beat it………vamanose…………I don’t want to see you again Captain Insano!
I head to work feeling relieved that he is now a part of my past. When I arrived home, my phone was ringing…….I decided not to answer it. He redialed every 3 minutes for hours. Finally, I pick up the phone and say things not allowed on this blog ending in stay away from me! He called so late into the night that I had to take the phone off the hook!
The next day as I was walking out the door to go to work there he stood……..crying like a  baby……..begging me to talk to him. I told him ‘NO’ in my most cold-hearted tone. I explained to him that you cannot have a girlfriend who gets in trouble for not talking to an ex-wife and they are both psycho and should get back together. Then I leave for work.
That day I received the most beautiful white basket full of flowers. The basket was so gorgeous with ceramic roses of all colors on the front. I miss it. The little girl I gave it to smiled so big.
That night he called and asked if I had gotten it. I said yes. He asked if I liked it. I said yes………and hung up……taking the phone off the hook because the psycho starting the calling process again.
The next day I received 2 dozen roses. I could barely carry those home from work. I ripped off all of the petals and enjoyed my first rose bath. It was wonderful!
Did it make me think more of him? No because he called and told me he spent $72 on the roses and that should prove how sorry he was.
I said Don’t worry baby………I already know how SORRY you are.
It took a threat of a restraining order and a couple of large friends to make him stop calling me. That was about 20 years ago and I saw him a few months ago. I didn’t even recognize him but he knew me instantly. My daughter later told me that he watched me walk away and looked as though he might cry.
Deliver me from those type………..PLEASE!
Scary but true………….
Scooter in Virgina

3 thoughts on “Mr. You Hurt My Ex-Wife’s Feelings

  1. I will be brave and claim him. This idiot is from Smyth County VA! Sad to say but there are more out there roaming around waiting to enter my calm world and make me want to buy a gun!

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