Not long after my divorce a co-worker kept trying to fix me up with one of her husband’s friends.
I ended up meeting him one day for a reason totally unrelated and he asked me to dinner. During dinner (I sure seem to learn a lot during meals) he told me his divorce was not final. His wife left him for another man and he was clearly not over her. I could tell he was very uncomfortable. I told him that he really should not have asked me out because he was still going through a divorce and should not even consider dating until he worked through his feelings. That totally put him at ease and we had a great time and decided to remain friends. (This was one of those instances where we really did become friends.)
We hung out occasionally, watched movies, had dinner, etc. Our realtionship was strictly platonic. I learned that when he was in his early 20’s he caused a horrific car accident from driving drunk and ended up killing someone. He spent two years in jail for involuntary manslaughter. He lost his first wife and 2 young children because of this. She moved to another state and he never saw them again.
I did not judge him for this as we all do stupid things, especially in our youth, (this had happened over 20 years ago) and the important thing is that we learn and grow from our mistakes. It’s something he had to live with for the rest of his life.
Late one Saturday evening, I get a phone call from Mr. I Have Not Learned My Lesson. He wanted to know if he could come over and have sex with me. His speech was slurred and he was obviously drunk. The worst part about it…he was sitting in a parking lot two miles from my house…yes, he was driving while intoxicated. On his way to my house he had pulled over to call me. Thank God he wasn’t driving drunk AND trying to talk on the phone!!! I am also thankful he did not just show up on my doorstep in that condition.
I was furious. I told him he was better off staying where he was and sleeping it off because I was not coming after him and I was calling the police. No, I was not going to be his savior and pick him up and bring him to my house. The man was 6’4″, drunk and wanting sex. I knew better than to subject myself to that lethal combination.
I found out later that he actually did sleep in his truck that night but we never spoke again after that. I have zero tolerance for drunks and alcoholics.