Mr Rogers…NOT

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So the latest in my saga of tales seems to include stories about men whom I’m not even dating.

Let’s take this morning’s developments as a prime example:

My 18 year old daughter comes to me first thing this morning and asks me if I have a ‘thing’ going with one of the neighbors.

Ummmm no.

The last conversation I had with him was him texting me from the shower (over a month ago) telling me he was naked and ‘all worked up’. I suggested he make it a cold shower.

According to my daughter, he’s telling folks that we are pretty cozy….

So…I sent him a text message so she could see for herself. She said, “I get $10 if he propositions you!!”

Me: “Word around the neighborhood is that we have a thing going…that’s news to me.”

Him: “Well that’s news to me too but o well we mises well do it so they will have somethin more to talk about.” (I’m not sure what makes me cringe more…what he said or his poor use of grammar.)

Me: “I can have sex any time I want but I’m worth so much more than that. I’m waiting on the man who realizes that.”

My daughter: “I get $10!!!”

I really need to move….to another planet!!!!

Won’t you be my neighbor….