Mr. Red Light, Green Light, Walk Into the Light…


I accepted a date this past weekend from a pastor. I was pleased that the evening actually went somewhat normal…dinner, nice conversation, a movie.

He invited me to his church on Sunday and for lunch afterwards. He’s currently a member and not the pastor of said church as he’s waiting on assignment. During the service he asked me about my plans for New Year’s Eve then he made a sexual reference about us going off somewhere and ‘playing’. I literally turned to face him in the pew and said, “Did you really just say that to me during worship service. His response, “Well, I AM human.”

I don’t know why (God help me) but I still went to lunch after church. He asked me where I would like to go then took me to a different restaurant instead.

Why bother asking???

He wanted to go where several of his friends usually hang out on Sundays. During lunch he was constantly watching the door and the people who came in. He finally told me that he brought me there to put me on display.


I told him I did not appreciate being on display like I was some kind of an animal at the zoo and he said, “Oh no, not an animal but for the beautiful woman that you are. You deserve to be seen and I want people to see you with me.”

Was that supposed to be a compliment????

Feeling like a lamb at the alter on the verge of being slaughtered,  I left as quickly as I could. He was rather disappointed that I would not go over to his house after lunch.

After I got home he texted me nonstop telling me he was crazy about me and he just couldn’t wait to get his hands on me. If that wasn’t bad enough, he then said (and I’m quoting) “I could be happy if I just had the green light to play with your boobs and who ha.”

WHO HA???!!!

As I’m thinking of an appropriate response (other than a long string of curse words), I receive:
“Your house or mine?”
“Can I come over?”
“I want to see if I can make you sweat and hollar.”

(Oh sure baby. Even though you’re just like every other man I have encountered in my ‘dating career’ it’s ok coming from YOU being a preacher and all. Come on over and make me hollar!!) WTH!!??

Obviously, Mr. Red Light, Green Light, Walk Into the Light got a soapbox sermon from ME as I preached him a mouthful about treating women like a piece of meat and how I was not going to be a distraction from his so called ministry. Better yet, he might want to rethink his choice of career!!!

Now of course, he says he was ‘just kidding’ and he really doesn’t want me to give up on him because I’m special.

He’s right. I AM SPECIAL. Much too special for the likes of him!!

On a side note…I had a visitor at work today who, referring to a completely different situation, said “Love and sex are the same thing.”
My visitor was a man. That’s the difference, I suppose, between men and women as I completely disagree with that statement. Love and sex are not the same thing.

What are your thoughts on that?

Am I missing something here?

I’m just totally at a loss…

12-18-13 UPDATE

Mr. Red Light, Green Light, Walk Into the Light continued to text me and ask if I would allow let him explain his ‘rude behavior’. He would not stop texting me so I called him last night and allowed him his confession…

His confession, “I don’t have a lot of confidence. I feel very inadequate in the bedroom. God did not bless me very much in size or with much skill when it comes to sex so I was trying to make myself sound like a stud…a big man. I am so sorry I disrespected you because of my shortcomings.”

I accepted his apology but not his excuse. Come on….really? So it’s God’s fault now?

Be a man and just admit that you were ‘testing the waters’ to see if I would take the bait.

Congratulations to him, by the way, as he certainly succeeded in becoming a big dick!!