The Simple Man

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A few weeks ago a friend asked me for dating advice. I just laughed and laughed. I’m not the best person to ask for said advice considering I’ve been divorced for 9 years and my ‘dating resume’ looks a bit like this:

one date…no thank you

one date…no thank you

one date…no thank you

2 1/2 years…no thank you

2 months…no thank you

one date…no thank you

one date…no thank you

3 months…no thank you

one date…no thank you

one date…no thank you

half a date…HELL NO

one date…no thank you

one date…no thank you

two dates…no thank you

just looking for a friend…yea right

two dates…no thank you

got a cat

 

I hear women complain all the time that men are too complicated and hard to understand. The reality of it is that men are actually simple creatures and very easy to understand. All they basically want is sex and food. Since food is really a necessity then we can take food off the table but leave sex on the table…and on the floor, and in the shower, and on the hood of the car, and during halftime, etc…

It’s really us women who are complicated. We want EVERYTHING and then some but two hours later we might want something completely different. Yes, ladies, we are the complicated creatures, but I believe the key is in finding a man who is not selfish and understands that we are complicated or at least pretends like he understands. And as far as the sex goes…make him wait for it. (I have several male friends who offer that advice.) If he’s willing to wait then he might be a keeper but just in case you might want to have a back-up…keep some nachos on hand!!

That’s my advice.

Like it or not.

I have a cat now so I’m quite content.

oliver

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