Miss Vulnerable

vulnerable

Today’s posting is not my usual humorous bantering but more of a soul bearing, heart wrenching, exposing of my vulnerability. So yes, I am Miss Vulnerable…putting it out there for everyone to see.

I have spent the last three months in a long distance ‘relationship’ with a man I have known for many, many years. We grew up in the same hometown. We have talked off and on several times over the years about various things but I never saw him in a romantic way until recently. We had our usual exchange of messages, “Hey…how have you been” kind of thing and it progressed from there.

I have always known him to be a good person with a caring heart, funny (very funny) and one of the ‘nice guys’ so to speak. He is very smart, handsome, and has an incredible eloquence with words. The more I got to know him better the more I became quite taken with his charm.

He seemed perfect. I usually do not fall for sweet words because I can tell when they are not sincere (hence the reason most men don’t make it past a first date) but I KNOW HIM and this time I was completely blindsided.

Some of things that were said included:

“I have spent my life learning to be a better man.”

“You make me very happy. Please strengthen me when I falter.”

“You are all I ever wanted. You deserve everything in life I can offer you.”

“I will never take you for granted.”

“I will always show you how much I appreciate you. You will never doubt us.”

“You have made me so happy with all of the things you have shown me about myself.”

“I love your positive outlook on everything.”

“I am truly a lucky man to know a woman as great as you.”

“I want you to bring beauty into my life.”

“You have a lot to offer any man lucky enough to love you. You are beautiful inside and out. You have a beautiful heart and soul and your incredible eyes are just icing on the cake.”

“It sometimes feels like my heart will explode. I am so happy.”

“Everyone who had the opportunity to love you but let you get away were all fools.”

And I could go on and on and on with those sweet nothings and that is exactly what they were… sweet NOTHING!!

There is no happy ending.

He has been seeing someone else for over a year…another long distance relationship. He mentioned her to me once saying that she was infatuated with him and was stalking him on facebook. I guess he didn’t realize I was actually friends with her on facebook. I saw a posting she made on his 40th birthday this past Monday. He had no choice but to come clean and admit what he was doing. His excuse…he just didn’t know how to tell me about her or how to end things with her but he still wanted a life with me.

Just slap a big old sucker tattoo on my forehead. Obviously, I deserve it.

I told my friends I pretty much ruined his 40th birthday. I said things to him I didn’t even know I was capable of saying…mean and cruel things. After some thought, I realize I did not ruin his birthday. He ruined his own birthday by being a coward.

I will admit I am heartbroken. This one will take me a while to get over. My biggest fear is not in being alone as I know I am never alone…God is always with me and will get me through. My biggest fear is being vulnerable. I imagine that is everyone’s fear even if we never openly admit it.

I saw a quote on facebook (on Monday ironically) and I will close with that…

“It’s easy to take off all your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams…THAT is truly being naked.”

Signed,

Miss Vulnerable

Happy Valentine’s Day

images-7

Happy Valentine’s Day (Singles Awareness Day) to all my beautiful readers!!

So far on this wonderous day I have heard from Mr. Man of Mystery, Mr. Point and Shoot, and Mr. Flip a Coin. (As well as a few others lurking in my life.)

Mr. Man of Mystery sent just a simple, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Mr. Point and Shoot says: “Happy Valentine’s Day Bright Eyes, 🙂 I hope you get lotsa flowers, chocolate and kisses. (((HUGS))).”

Mr. Flip a Coin says: “I was browsing the internet and couldn’t find you. (I hid my profile from him.) Did you finally find a man? (nice) I have a profile without a photo just to browse (lurk) to see if there’s anything new when I’m bored.” (for when he’s off his meds)

I refuse to engage in conversation with any of them. And so the saga continues…

I’m going to buy myself flowers and chocolates and celebrate this wonderous day as an independent woman!!

Cheers to all us singles!!

Mr. Point and Shoot

man

Girl meets boy.

They have a lot in common…the love of photography being the main thing.

They spend a few hours talking about cameras and photography tips.

The next day the conversation takes a 180.

Sex, sex, and sex.

Girl changes the subject.

Boy sends, “SNIFF SNIFF 😦 I thought you liked me.”

Boy is really more interested in pointing and shooting something other than the camera.

Girl says, “That’s a wrap!!”

Mr. I Thought She was THE ONE

man-with-four-wives

I was supposed to have a date recently with a man who I joked with about not asking me to marry him on the first date.

He said, “Oh no worries, I’ll wait till at least the third.”

In one of our later conversations I asked him how long he had been divorced. He said, “Well, here’s the thing…” (I know when something starts out like that I better start taking notes for my blog!!)

It turns out he had been divorced 3 months from a woman he was only married to for 3 months. He proposed to her on the 3rd date and they were married after only knowing one another for 3 weeks. HOWEVER, she was not his 3rd wife but his 4th.

I had no choice but to cancel our date. I can’t possibly take a chance on being wife number 5 when my lucky number is 6!! He’ll just have to get back to me after his next divorce.

He said he really thought wife number 4 was ‘the one’.

I just do not understand rushing into marriage so quickly. If you’re meant to be together it will happen even if you take that extra time to actually get to know one another better.

Mr. Nothing in Between

20130203-045451.jpg

This past week I have been communicating with a man who started out with lots of witty banter and conversation. It’s the men who have a good sense of humor and can carry on an intellectual conversation that usually get my attention. He’s already asked me out for dinner next Friday although nothing is set in stone.

Now all of a sudden, the last two days he sends a “good morning” and a “good night” with literally nothing in between.

Does he think because we’re supposed to have dinner next weekend that now he does not have to engage me in any meaningful conversation?

It’s been my experience that if someone is really interested they go the extra mile and take time to get to know you.

Mr. Nothing in Between has lost my attention and interest.

To Give or Not to Give

26866434 (1)

I don’t know about everyone else out there but it takes me to while to feel comfortable about giving my phone number to a complete stranger.

Do you blame me? Look at my history of bad dates!!

Last spring, I gave my number to a guy I met online just as I was leaving for work. I told him I did not take personal calls at work and would talk to him that evening.

As I arrived at work, my phone rang. I answered my phone saying, “I told you I did not take personal calls at work.”

His response, “Oh, I’m sure you can make an exception for me.”

Me: “No I can’t.”

Him: “Well then call me on your break.”

Me: “No.”

Him: “Call me on your lunch.”

Me: “No.”

Him: “Ok fine. I’ll talk to you later but I find it very odd you won’t talk to me.”

Well I found it very disrespectful that he called me when I told him I don’t take personal calls at work.

He called three more times that day while I was working. I did not answer any of his calls.

By the time I got home, my phone was ringing again. This time I answered.

Him: “Hey, I was hoping you were off work by now. I’m going to to come take you out for dinner Friday night.” (He was not asking me. He was telling me.)

Me: “My son has tournament ball games all weekend. I can’t.”

Him: “Then we’ll go out Saturday night.”

Me: “No, I can’t. I will be at my son’s ball games.”

Him: (yelling angrily) “You need to take down your dating profile. You are obviously NOT interested in dating. You just like to jerk men around.”

Me: “No, I’m not blowing off my son’s ball games for anyone. He’s my son. You’re a stranger.”

Him: “Whatever. Bye.”

Ten minutes later he calls back. He left a voicemail, “Hey honey, I just wanted to say I was sorry. I understand your son comes first. I’m not ready to give up on you just yet baby so please call me back.”

NO THANK YOU MR. BIPOLAR!!!

This is a prime example of why I’m reluctant to give out my number so quickly. The men who are patient and don’t mind exchanging several messages first are the ones I end up sharing my digits with. The men who rant and rave when I won’t just hand it over are the exact ones I’m trying to avoid!!

But I am curious…what’s your take on this? Do you give out your number right away?

Mr. Mass Texter

mass text

After the fiasco with Mr. Flip a Coin, I gave my phone number to another online dater I had been corresponding with. He thanked me profusely and said he would text me in a bit (also assuring me I would not regret it). Sure enough, he did text me…in a mass text message that went to two other women at the same time!! Does he not understand that you can see all the phone numbers in a mass text message?

In this day and age, I understand most people communicate with one more than one person trying to get to know them and weed out the ones that are of no interest but a mass text message?? REALLY??!!

I actually messaged the other two women, one of which I have now become friends with. We both texted Mr. Mass Texter and asked him if he was talking with anyone else and he, of course, said “No hon just you.” (Hon?…barf.)

He has no clue that we know. Oh how dangerous this situation can be for a man…take heed online daters!! 😉

We are contemplating one of us setting up a date with him and then both showing up. Then again, he would probably like that.

He’s right though. I don’t regret it. I have made a great new friend thanks to his ignorance.